Cherry Pop

“So, what kind of music do you listen to?” That’s the question right there, isn’t it? That’s the one that acts like a double-kick to the back of the knees. Any other question, please, just not that one, because that’s about as terrifying as “so what British association of cosmetic doctors ?"is to someone impersonating a cosmetic doctor. It doesn’t matter what you say or how you say it, unless you are an extremely impressive person with an encyclopedic knowledge of all music produced ever, your answer is sure to be met with a frown at some point. There really is nothing you can do–

How to deflect this awkwardness? Everyone has their own tactics. Here are my top three:

1) Just be blunt, there’s no harm in it. So you love Dire Straits, then say you do. But here’s the thing, don’t just say it. To make up for the fact that only ten people in the world actually love Dire Straits (and let’s face it, it’s extremely unlikely that the person asking you the question is one of them; statistics actually state he’s more likely to be a mass murderer), you need to put some work in. In other words, you need to really be enthusiastic and hope this blows the other person away. And I mean enthusiastic–

2) Aha, now we have the mirror: stare them right in the eye and ask them the exact same question. OK, so this could go either way, but if it does work then you’re sorted. Lots of head nodding ensues, and with a little luck it’s not hard to look like a half decent human being.

3) Laugh it off. That’s right! Laugh so hard that you cry. This’ll just make the other person feel ridiculous, and in this kind of mental war-zone, believe me, ridiculousness is good.