It sounds like a bad episode of Jeremy Kyle - the bullying bloke fresh out of the nick, the slaggish ex-girlfriend, a new bloke on the scene, a kid called something like Crystal or Chardonnay. Except this bullying bloke - troubled at the core like most bullies are - came out with a shot gun and took out the new man, maimed the ex (viscously, so she’ll never forget) and blinded a policeman. A human tragedy. One we’ve all been watching.
Even so, there are fingers of blame pointing Samantha’s way. Slag, Slapper. Had it coming to her? But did she? Really?

Behind all the headlines no-one seems to have done the maths. Samantha Stobbart, 22. Raoul Moat 37. Together 6 years. Why has no one has commented that the 31 year old bully boy had picked up with a 16 year old girl, at the very start of her foray into adult relationships? On how one-sided and dysfunctional the relationship was in the first place because of this huge age gap? That all poor Samantha ever knew of being a couple would have been with this much older man. And not just any ’older'man, but a volatile man mountain - 6ft 3in, a doorman, prone to ’outbursts of anger’, already with a failed relationship and two kids behind him. It sounds like co-dependency and abuse of the worst kind. Yet no-one seems to have picked this angle up at all.

Poor, poor Samantha. She’s not a slag, just a lost young girl, dominated from the day she was old enough to find love. Her life has never been her own. I wonder whether, as time passed and she grew up during those 6 years, she regretted hooking up with the likes of Moat. Whether she slowly realised she was not so much protected as dominated and controlled by him, and afraid of becoming her own person because of the volcano that might have erupted.
So far from being a rosy, domesticated relationship, the ’together 6 years'reported in the papers, sounds like the worst nightmare for a pretty girl like Sam. To have hooked up with an insecure, jealous man with access to weapons that (quite likely) he and his chums weren’t afraid to administer outside of the law. The day to day power struggles, outbursts, domination. A relationship that wasn’t one of trust, a home that wasn’t a place of safety, and a love that was no longer one of choice - just one big nightmare she dare not leave.
So bully boy goes to prison. 18 weeks. That’s over 4 months. Probably the first time the maturing Samantha (now a mother) had an opportunity to think for herself, decide things for herself, with her bullying partner ’safely'behind bars. Free - at least in the short term - from his terrorising ways. In that 4 months, she chooses to do something for herself - break away from Roaul, meet another man and do some exploring. It’s what young people do up and down the country: end a first relationship to move onto something more fitting their new mature self.
Only for Samantha ’ending'their relationship wasn’t an option. I’m over you, I’m moving on, I have made a choice for a future that doesn’t include you - simply not in Moat’s vocabulary. She did not belong to herself, she belonged to him. The choice wasn’t ever hers. It’s no accident she was a vulnerable 16 year old, not an assertive adult in her own right when they set out. She wasn’t a person, but a possession. In his warped, controlling mind, and in the terms of their relationship contract, he’s always owned her.
And now, through his actions, he’s made sure he always will.

What’s the link all about I hear you say? Well, click on it, go on! It’s all about sustaining a positive attitude to saving energy is what. In other words, it’s about remaining diligent about helping the planet (and our wallets), something that few of us can honestly profess to do on a day-to-day basis…

As is discussed in the article, I am one of those annoying people who thinks they are saving energy, but is actually barely doing a thing, and doing that badly. I mean I try, don’t get me wrong, but old habits really do die hard. One of those habits is buying plastic bags at the supermarket–It doesn’t matter how many I buy, whenever I go to the supermarket I feel the need to buy more!

I was reminded of this particularly abysmal character trait just yesterday when an eco friendly old lady gave me a hurtful scowling look that really did hurt. I was buying yet another pointless plastic bag, while she was using the one she had bought way back before the war kicked in–which made her face look actually quite wrinkle free…

The point is, it’s supply and demand. So when loads of other awful bag buyers also don’t think to change their habit, the bag makers make yet more thousands of bags! So this is a plea, really, for you to do your bit. Go on, rummage about under the stairs and I am sure you’ll find loads of bags to use. Just don’t keep buying them!

I remember seeing 3D for the first time. It was some kind of action film. Me and dad were right at the front, and to be honest with you, although it made an impression at the time, it wasn’t exactly mind-blowing. In fact, a few years later I could barely remember any part of it. Right now I can’t even remember what the film was about, and I’m not particularly bothered.

Now, with the success of Avatar, James Cameron, right up there on his very, very high horse – some might say the horse is located 30,000 feet above the ground – is saying that 3D is the next big thing since television. Do I believe him? No, in a word. I don’t think it will ever be good and I don’t think it is the future. I think it’s a load of crap actually, but I won’t say any more here.

But it’s funny, as soon as a big movie head opens his mouth (and it’s amazing anyone can hear what he’s saying with him sitting up there on his horse, which must have a bad case of vertigo) the world starts to listen. If James Cameron said “every man should have vaginal tightening surgery!"then I’m sure that more than a few men would book in to a clinic before realizing that they didn’t actually have a vagina to have surgery on.

Which is why I was so impressed by movie critic Mark Kermode when he stood up and said “actually, I don’t think 3D will ever be the future” or something like it. Well done Mark, I thought, for saying what so many must think.

With summer about to begin and the kids getting older I was on the search for a new digital camcorder. I don’t want to miss one jump in the pool or crazy fishing trip. I had no idea what I was looking for and knew nothing about pixels, shot range, or really much of anything technical when it came to camcorders. I found this article very helpful when deciding what camcorder would be perfect for me and my many upcoming adventures.

Enigin informed me of all of the pertinent information I needed to know about a flip HD Digital Camcorder. I learned what specifications were important and what each one really meant. The Flip HD was perfect. I needed something small and compact that I could fit into my purse or the diaper bag. I needed to be able to have it for long trips without needing to recharge it often. I wanted a crystal clear picture but also great audio. When first looking for a digital camcorder I was very overwhelmed with all of the options that are available.

I am not a technical person and finding one that I could easily use was somewhat difficult. Enigin recommended the Flip HD as being very user friendly. It was listed as being very easy to use, lightweight, and very portable. All of the features that were important to me. Enigin used very simple terms when explaining the goods and bad of the camcorder as well. There was no technical mumbo jumbo that could confuse you. It was a very straight forward explanation of all of the features and had great recommendations and even explained why it was recommended. Enigin made the decision process a breeze. I left the site without any questions. I felt completely informed about my upcoming purchase and had a since of security that the purchase was going to be a great fit for my family.

Scooters used to be everywhere. Those annoying things that started life as toys for children and developed in to a craze bigger than…I don’t know, it’d probably take me all day to think of a bigger craze. Do you remember? A pretty disgusting sight: grown men and women in suits, filo-fax’s in hand, racing about the streets trying to look hip, on their way to have a chemical face peel and the likes. How awful it was. And it took long enough to die out (the scooters, I mean, I think the chemical face peel thing is still quite active…), so when it did you could say that I was Pleased.

Only then, as I knew it would, Adam Sandler came out and ruined everything. Because that’s just what he does, isn’t it? I have never been a huge fan of the actor, to say the least. And it wasn’t even his acting that ruined everything, no. It was more his latest film, entitled “Reign Over Me”. In it he plays the part of a deeply disturbed man who goes about listening to music while on a motorized scooter type thing. And yes, ever since that day I’ve been seeing a lot more people on scooters again. It’s funny how nobody is interested in anything until someone else is doing it, isn’t it? As a trait humans just can’t seem to get rid of that one, no matter how advanced we become as a species or how many particles we smash together.

“So, what kind of music do you listen to?” That’s the question right there, isn’t it? That’s the one that acts like a double-kick to the back of the knees. Any other question, please, just not that one, because that’s about as terrifying as “so what British association of cosmetic doctors ?"is to someone impersonating a cosmetic doctor. It doesn’t matter what you say or how you say it, unless you are an extremely impressive person with an encyclopedic knowledge of all music produced ever, your answer is sure to be met with a frown at some point. There really is nothing you can do–

How to deflect this awkwardness? Everyone has their own tactics. Here are my top three:

1) Just be blunt, there’s no harm in it. So you love Dire Straits, then say you do. But here’s the thing, don’t just say it. To make up for the fact that only ten people in the world actually love Dire Straits (and let’s face it, it’s extremely unlikely that the person asking you the question is one of them; statistics actually state he’s more likely to be a mass murderer), you need to put some work in. In other words, you need to really be enthusiastic and hope this blows the other person away. And I mean enthusiastic–

2) Aha, now we have the mirror: stare them right in the eye and ask them the exact same question. OK, so this could go either way, but if it does work then you’re sorted. Lots of head nodding ensues, and with a little luck it’s not hard to look like a half decent human being.

3) Laugh it off. That’s right! Laugh so hard that you cry. This’ll just make the other person feel ridiculous, and in this kind of mental war-zone, believe me, ridiculousness is good.

I wasn’t born with an expressive face. My face is about as expressive as some really non-expressive DVD packaging. It is my opinion that this has had a negative effect on me throughout my life. It’s probably why I ended up as a funeral director: even when I was elated, I looked impressively miserable. So miserable that it wasn’t uncommon for one of the mourners to come up to me and say something like “Are you alright?”

People used to tell me it’s not true but they were just being nice, of course. It was true. But I found a way to deal with it, and the way I deal with it is this: I move my face around loads. And I mean loads. I learned how to do this on my own in my bedroom. I just have to be careful not to look at myself in the mirror while I’m doing it, because that’s the kind of thing that can give you nightmares–

By moving my face around loads, I have developed a kind of control. I can now smile properly, and not look miserable, and express gratitude, relief, and happiness. But it comes at a price. Every now and then my face will go in to one of its weird spasms. I’ll be fine one minute, and the next I’ll look like a mad man. But it’s a small price to pay for all the doors that have opened up. I’d much rather be successful than work as a funeral director forever, wouldn’t you?

People who mishear things drive me round the bend. But it goes much deeper than that, and I need to be more specific: I’m talking about those people who not only mishear things, but then misinterpret their meaning. Within minutes a chain of events has been set in to motion that can not be stopped. After some time things can spiral wildly out of control–

Take my colleague at work, for example. His name is Lenny. I have nothing against Lenny. He’s a nice man with a good heart. But Lenny is impossible. No matter how much I enunciate my words or explain things to him, he will misinterpret it. Recently the following happened:

I had been to a meeting about Team building. Lenny had missed it (he’d been looking after his mother who had probably got sick due to Lenny mis-interpreting something) and came and asked me what the meeting was about. Sweating and scared for my safety, I looked him in the eye and said, “OK Lenny, are you listening?” As ever, he said, “Yes, of course”. This prompted me to pull the shirt from my back and say “You say that–but last time you said that you remember what happened?” Lenny smiled menacingly: “That was a one-off,” he said confidently. I said, “Let’s hope so”. So I bit the bullet: “THE MEE-TING WAS IN THERE AND IT WAS ABOUT TEAM BUILDING”, I said clearly. Lenny said, “Team building, fine”. Then he walked away.

Two hours later I was up against the wall with a work-mates hands around my neck. Let me tell you, there was nothing affectionate about it. “Did you say I was having an affair with Sheena Wielding?” he asked. And then the penny dropped. The guy’s name was Ling and I should have been much more careful–

But there is one problem with the internet that seems to dog almost every single web-site you come across, and that is this: very often you’ll have a question about something a company is offering, and you can’t find the answer anywhere on the site, no matter how hard you look. You could try contacting them, of course, but that doesn’t always work out either. For these reasons I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled across this web-site.

–and found that not only did the company (Enigin, energy-saving specialists who create products that will help cut down heating and lighting costs) answer several obvious questions, but a slew more which gave me real insight into what energy-saving really is and why I should try my best to implement it in my home (Enigin also provide a range of solutions to businesses of all sizes, so no worries there either). There are answers concerning everything, from various products to specific reasons for purchasing them. If you’re looking for a way to cut down on bills for the house or business then look no further, these guys really know what they are talking about.

Also, don’t think you are out of luck if you can’t find out what you need to know straight away. Enigin really are experts, and as such, it’s highly unlikely that your query will surprise them.

Now we’ve got the fun stuff out of the way it’s time for more serious matters: tea-drinking-equipment. I am talking mugs and cups, both of which are fine, but please be careful. ALL tea utensils have slightly different properties, and these affect the tea itself: for example, a tea mug which resembles an urn—which I would make illegal if I was in the government (you may as well just drink your tea out of biodiesel storage tanks)—has rounded-edges which can turn what should be a highly pleasurable tea-appreciating exercise into tea-drinking-bedlam. It not only ruins the taste, but tarnishes the memory, making all future tea-drinking endeavors slightly less fantastic than they truly ought to be!